so glad

Being a working mom is difficult for me. I wonder, constantly, if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm somehow ruining something that can't be reversed because I'm not home all the time with Gavin. I know that what I do now is necessary and believe that God sees the desires of our heart and above nearly everything else, I desire that Gavin be allowed to grow and thrive surrounded by people who love him unconditionally and want all good things for him. These days, I'm not home with him all day, every day - but I do know that he's just not well cared for when I'm not there... he is loved. And that does my mama-heart an immeasurable amount of good.


When afternoon comes and I finally get to pick him up, we can't get enough of each other. He sits in my lap (sometimes, I drop everything in the entryway and we sit next to the front door) and tells me - words rushing, falling, and tripping over each other - all about his day, his friends, his new songs, and describes new whimsies no one can identify. This is one of my favorite times of the day: smelling sunshine in his hair and my heart soaring on the excitement of his words.


Yesterday, while we were driving home, his little voice piped up from the backseat: "I'm SO glad you're with me, mommy!" I wish there was a way for him to know that I feel just the same about him, too.

morning joy

Some mornings, Brent, Gavin, and I pile on the couch and just hold hands. Gavin always sits in the middle and as we are watching the news/drinking coffee/checking emails - you know, morning whatevers - he reaches to his left and to his  right, grabs our hands, and intertwines his fingers in ours. 

We, of course, stop everything and exchange a look over his head that wordlessly gushes over how precious we think our boy is. And as the minutes tick by, none of us move. Late for work, late for school - no one cares. We are lost in a bubble of early morning family joy and never are we in a rush to see it end.

gavin says #2

Just a few of the funniest things that have come from Gavin's mouth:

Gavin (walking around dejectedly): "I'm not happy."

Me: Well, what would make you happy?

Gavin: "Christmas."

Then he heaved a big, ol' sigh.

Lately Gavin's had a thing for pretending he's different animals. His most favorite ones to pretend to be are puppies and kitties. I can't even call him by his name when he's in animal mode. He crawls around the house on all fours while meowing or yipping away and likes to be "caught" and flipped on his back so we can rub his tummy. My funny boy.

While singing "Wheels on the Bus", during the part about the signal lights ticking, Gavin opens and shuts his palms while *tsk-ing his tongue. I love it and make him sing that part over and over again.

This past November, I braved the sock-loving crowds at Fred Meyer and came home with some footed pjs (for $4 a piece. a steal!) for Gavin. He's been really into wearing his Buzz Lightyear ones lately and one day, out of the blue, said "Look at me!", touched one of the buttons on his top, made a "boop!" noise, and stuck his arms straight out from his sides. His  wings! 

Last week, Brent picked up Gavin from preschool and his teacher gave this report: "Gavin got his hair pulled by someone today - but then he put someone else riding a trike in a headlock." That's my boy.